just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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