why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
