no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
