I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize