The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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