but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
