She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
