seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
