he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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