I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
