i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
