it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
