i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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