i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
