Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
