That's intense
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
