The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
