This girl is more easily done than said...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
