When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
