You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
