Will you blow on my dice?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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