I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
