I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
