That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
