did you get engaged???
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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