i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
