The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize