somebody snuck up and got me drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
