How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
