GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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