i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
