I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
