even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You peed on a flamingo?!?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
