So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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