What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
