you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
