So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
