it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
