My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
