Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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