I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
false alarm, still single
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize