I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
