Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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