; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You need a sexual gate keeper
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
