walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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