it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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