have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
