I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
