fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
