She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
