My first STD was from a foam party
Swine flu. Run for my life!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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