New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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