Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
