Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i need some magic done to my vagina
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
