This girl is more easily done than said...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
