she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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