Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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