i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
