Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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