left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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