I heard we made out
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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