One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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