it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
